Well what can I say, here we are at the end of Jan 2007! And Ive already toasted nearly all of my new years resolutions. Especially all the ones about my inspired intentions to update my blog... sorry Ally...

However, have no fear, i have heard your cries and have found it in my deeply cynical yet benevolent heart to answer you! I am back to blog with a vengeance.

I was out walking the other night and noticed a strange thing. My path had led me to a dark and spooky section of woods near my house, where a strange shadow crossed my path. I could hear its breath, a high pitched wheezing whistle, and before I knew it, it was heading directly for me. My trusty dog, always ready to defend me from any adversary tucked her stub of a tail over her bum and ran for home (her tail is too short to be tucked between her legs).

Now alone I was prepared and instinctively reverted back to my ninja training. Its incredible how a crisis can awaken skills long forgotten. I dove for the bushes. Lowered my breathing and became one with the night. Poised, attuned, ready to react to this monstrosity coming towards me. The wheezing came close, the odd shuffle of its steps shoving stoned in front of it. Then there it was. The sight of it inspired dread to depths of my soul. I made no sound, save the gurgling of my stomach reacting to my brown rice and SPICY meat ball supper. The creature stopped and looked right at me! Here is what I saw!



I considered my options, do I stand and fight like a man, run like the true coward I am or trust in my amazing ninja stealth ability and remain still. Perhaps this otherworldly being has the eye sight of the Tyrannosaurus Rex, which common knowledge tells us cannot see anything unless it moves. I stand still, and try not to blink. It stares back. sort of twists its head a little and sniffs the air. Then an interesting thing happened. It closed its beady little eyes as tightly as it could and scrunched up its face even more than it was, and seemed to strain, it began to tremble and shake. I was completely unprepared for what was to come next. A terrible earth shaking flapping sound filled the air. I fell to the ground and covered my ears, it was terrible. Then I realized that it was not my eyes I should have covered. A strange green cloud filled the air. A beagle howled in the distance. The cloud reached out with its insidious tendrils of doom toward me. Then I realized what was happening! It was obviously trying to communicate with me.

Its mouth being so malformed obviously could not speak and I imagined it knew I could not read sign language so it tried to reach out to me through scent. I smelled cabbage, broccoli, turnip with a hint of roast turkey. Then I knew no more. I awoke later in a fright, I thought the beast was trying to consume me, but alas it was only my trusty hound rousing me with kisses.

The creature was nowhere to be seen. I had escaped with my life. to blog again...

I wonder if I will ever see the beast again.